Things Found In My Trunk

13 Nov

Writing a blog means really putting myself out there, right? Being real and facing judgement, scrutiny and opinions that I might not like. Yet, in spite of all that I am committed and I think it is important to show my really crazy side sometimes, because she’s funny and wacky and I like her even though she doesn’t always serve my best interests.

Recently I was feeling ambitious and I emptied out my trunk. Once I had everything laid out on the pavement around my car I realized it was too wild to not document and share. So, here it is… the list of what I found in my trunk on a casual weekday afternoon:

Gas can (with gas)– Not safe, I know. Please don’t call me and tell me this, I handled it.
Beach umbrella– Not summer… again, I know.
3 beach towels– See above.
2 beach blankets- Ugh, this is getting repetitive.
2 beach chairs- Dammit, those are useful year round!
Beach hat– …
3 dog leashes– I have one dog who is well behaved and very rarely on leash.
2 bike helmets- Maybe I’m more safe if I find a way to wear them both simultaneously…?
6 board games- These stay in my trunk at all times. I bring the fun wherever I go.
6 Broadway musical song books– This one seems reasonable. What if my car breaks down and I come across a handsome German man in a van with his eight children and they want to sing with me?
Box of cat litter- No idea.
Tennis ball thrower- For my one dog who plays “fetch” for 1/2 a throw and then stops, runs back to me empty mouthed, wags her tail waiting for approval and then lies down.
Purdy me– I don’t know what this means. I suspect my phone auto-corrected something I put on this list when I made it and now I’ll never know. To ease my curiosity I will assume it was a mirror and I saw myself and thought I looked super nice that day.
3 cans of hair product– One for curly, one for straight and one for up-dos. Reasonable.
5 different car cleaning products– I have never, I repeat, never used a product to clean my own car.
9 empty water bottlesStaying hydrated and then thinking, “I can’t throw the bottle in the trash, I’ll wait until I see a recycling bin, which apparently are not available on the highway.
1 reusable water bottle– Now I’m using my head!
8.5 pairs of shoes(yes 1/2)– I’m hopeless sometimes.
Empty backpack– What if I spontaneously go on a hike or back to 3rd grade?!
12 pack of chopsticks– For road noodles.
4 Ceramic noodle bowls– Again, road noodles.
First aid kit– Yay, finally something that belongs in a car trunk!
Car kit– Woot! I’m a little proud of myself for this one.
Blanket- Different from the beach blankets.
Can of split pea soup– Notice the lack of a can opener on this list… and it was not a pop top.
Bike tire pump- I actually use this a lot…
Bike rack- … and this.
Yoga mat– If it’s in my trunk I will convince myself to go back to classes.
Bottle of red wine– No wine opener.
20 Bobby pins- Yes, I counted them.
15 hair elastics- Exactly 15.
$50 cash– Woah sweet! This was like getting paid for this arduous task.
Necessary tax forms for 2012– I am aware that it is 2013. Cliff (my accountant), if you are reading this, I just want you to know I am sorry and also you never cease to impress me with your talents.
11 pairs of panties- For when I go on a week and four day spur of the moment trip.
Winter hat- Note: it wasn’t cold enough yet for this to have been from this season when I found this.
Furry rainbow leg warmers- For when I dress up as a My Little Pony and play kickball (a real thing I do)
6 pairs of black tights/ 1 brown- Useful in a superhero quick change.
2 nice dresses- In case I meet the King.
Raincoat– Might seem like one of the reasonable items on this list, but when I really think about it, I would need the raincoat most on the walk from inside my building to the parking lot and then wouldn’t enjoy putting it on outside standing by my trunk. By then I’m surely already soaked.
Sports bra with tag still on– Clearly going to good use.
2 bathing suits- What if I put one on and it isn’t the one I’m in the mood to wear?
Fall jacket– (See raincoat or winter hat, both apply)
Sleeping bag- For… sleepovers?
7 tank tops in assorted colors– A girl needs options.
5 CDs- Again, in the trunk, not in my empty car CD player.
Salt water taffy– Ooh, delicious!
Pretzels- Still good!
3 old granola bars- Not still good.
2 sweatshirts– What is there to say here? This list is just friggin long.
1 gallon cat urine destroyer– If you know me this makes sense in my life.
Spartan race medal (in cup holder)– I’m a Spartan.
Plastic hanger– Naturally.
Empty folder– For important car documents maybe?
36 cents– None of which includes a quarter for meters.
I heart rooster sauce tote– That I always forget to bring into the grocery with me.
Old toothbrush- Ew.
4 old insurance cards and 1 current– Ahh, the memories.
1 old registration and 1 current– In case I want to reminisce.
Eyeshadow, lotion, 2 shades of lipstick, 2 eyeliners- Purdy me.

It looks a lot less scary all piled up for this picture.

It looks a lot less scary all piled up for this picture.

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One Response to “Things Found In My Trunk”

  1. Natasha Nan Wellins November 18, 2013 at 8:09 am #

    The cat litter should stay in case you ever get stuck in snow/ice. You can sprinkle it under your tires to gain some traction! Or so I’m told. And make sure the guy isn’t German, but rather Austrian, otherwise you’ve been had. 🙂

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