Things Found In My Backseat

2 Mar

This evening I was going to see Avenue Q with some friends and we decided to carpool as the theatre was about 45 minutes away. When I reached the pickup point I realized to my dismay that my backseat was a mess so I jumped out of my car and started frantically shoving everything into my trunk (which was just recently cleaned, so there goes that). While clawing at piles of stuff on the floor I realized that I had a rather odd collection of things accumulated:

Not one, but two unpaid parking tickets– I am not technically to blame for this… once the ticket makes it into the backseat there is really no hope of me remembering that it is there and I can no longer be held responsible. Also, the no overnight parking rule in Providence has nailed me dozens of times over the years and I feel I have paid the city enough, so let’s pretend it isn’t paid because I’m standing up for myself and I’m passionate about a political cause (rather than the alternative, which is just that I’m a ninny). I should also mention for the sake of my mother who is likely to call me after reading this, yes I will pay those tickets first thing Monday and yes I know that was a not-so-good life choice. I can just hear her now in her disappointed voice, “I’m not upset, it really doesn’t effect me, I just worry and I think you should pay them”. I love how much she cares and how much she is still willing to parent even though I should be an adult by now, she has the patience of a saint.

Four or five giant wads of tissue paper- I have no idea… really. I found it strange that there was that large a quantity of it and yet I have no recollection of what it was all from.

Miss Congeniality on DVD- Well this is just smart. You never know when the urge to see Sandra Bullock as an FBI agent/struggling pageant queen is going to strike, so it’s wise to always have it on hand for those emergencies. It is now in my trunk, so if we are hanging out anytime soon and you want to watch it, I’m ready.

A heavy brown paper bag- This one is bad news because it was clearly my lunch bag one day for work, but I have been using a lunch tote for a couple months now, if that is any indicator of it’s age. I opened it and briefly saw that there was a container in there… that will be a fun surprise to open at a later date (check out that blog post in a month or so, when I clean out my trunk).

A studded costume cigarette holder- … that I only used once… at a party I went to… in late October. The dumbest thing about that is that I don’t even smoke.

An unopened bag of fake cotton snow- I had bought it to use as a possible makeshift white screen for a projected slideshow at a charity event and then a better idea happened, thus dooming the fake snow to my backseat for five months. This bag actually made it onto the ledge under the back window a month or so ago and has been obstructing part of my rear view ever since… yes mom, I have moved it and yes I know that isn’t safe. I’m sorry.

It all worked out for the best though because when my friends got into the backseat after I moved all the stuff and they told me what a nice car I had. It’s amazing what shifting stuff around can accomplish, this is why my closet is just a giant mountain of shoes and clothes, but hey, at least they aren’t out where guests can see– I’m tidy!

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3 Responses to “Things Found In My Backseat”

  1. Josh March 3, 2012 at 1:41 pm #

    I must say, tidy is definitely the first word that comes to mind when I think of you. Maybe not so nice to hear the trunk I spent a half hour cleaning out is now full of new junk, but I’m glad it contributed to a really funny blog.

  2. drnommy March 3, 2012 at 6:57 pm #

    [IN MY DISAPPOINTED VOICE]: I’m not upset, it really doesn’t affect me; I just worry and think you should pay those parking tickets. (Angelic choir swells…..)

  3. Amanda May 9, 2012 at 8:20 pm #

    Thinking of all the amazing things we found in your room when we spent the day cleaning it in high school. My favorite was the pog that said “I love you” from your first boyfriend in elementary school.

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