I’m not crazy, I’m probably brilliant

6 Jan

I remember a dream I had when I was 7 and in the dream it was my birthday and I got a ton of amazing gifts. When I woke up I actually took a second to look around my room to find the gifts and realized it was all a dream. I may or may not have cried, that detail is unimportant. I was pissed that I didn’t have a pony, plus it wasn’t even my birthday when I woke up so I was clearly mad about that too. My room looked so stupid and boring compared to my gift filled dream room.

Worse than the dream that won’t come true is an alarm waking you up in the morning from a dream moments before the dream would have concluded. This happened a lot to me, and there is no worse feeling then waking up just before you are about to see where the magical gnome is taking you or a handsome stranger is about to kiss you.

I’m not sure how old I was, but there came a time when I decided I had had enough. My plan was simple; sleep long enough to see the end of the dream. I had to trick my alarm clock. It was the enemy and I needed to be stealthy.

::Que Bond Music::

I set the alarm for the normal time. I roll over and close my eyes, pretend to relax and allow the clock to think it has to interrupt my sleep at 7:30am. After a minute or so, I casually return to the alarm and reset it for three minutes later. The extra three minutes is enough time to see the end of the dream, but the clock hadn’t prepared for this; I reset fate. My original destiny was to wake up at 7:30am and now that I have changed that, I have realigned fate. This is science, I’m sure of it.

I have been doing this now for over 10 years and I cannot recall a time since I started it that I woke up feeling like I missed the end of the story. Call me nutty, but I think at least a few of you are going to try this now.

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